Customer Service.

I work as a Call Centre Agent for Ticketmaster. Although the job can be extremely repetitive, especially when I literally had 20 callers in a row asking for Beyonce tickets, and having to tell all of them that they sold out within 20 minutes. And then having to hear the symphony of "are you serious?!" and "are there going to be more tickets available later on?" and "but it's for a birthday present!". Newsflash: I DON'T CARE.

But at the end of the day, I really don't mind it. I find it much easier to deal with customers over the phone than in person. Some of the the callers are also quite humourous, and I have found myself, on numerous occasions, getting carried away in casual conversations with the customers.

And then there are the customers who would give their right leg if it meant it would ruin someone's day. There are several types of such customers:

1. The Finger-Pointer.
It is not my fault that we do not sell tickets for your event. Yes, we are a company that sells tickets for events, but that does not mean that we sell tickets for ALL events. Promoters contact us, and ask us to sell tickets for their events. The promoter for your event clearly did not do that. Therefore, we do not sell tickets for that particular event. I mean... really. Also, it is not my responsibility to find out WHO is selling tickets for that event. I have 30 other calls waiting, I do not have time to roam through Google for that information. You have a computer, you can do that yourself. So stop screaming at me, and don't call me a Jew. (yes, this has happened)

2. The Queen Bee
You called me for tickets. Don't flippin' put me on hold and expect to me to wait for you. Do you really think you're the only caller I have? Have some common courtesy. Also, it's not my fault that tickets went on sale while you were at work. You have no right to tell me to "hurry up". If you don't shut up, I will release your $300 Beyonce tickets into the system, and give them to someone more deserving and polite, you inconsiderate bitch. The more you tell me you're "in a hurry", the slower I will go. I will also decide that my system will shut down, and waste even more of your time. So let me do my job in peace.

3. The One who Expects Too Much.
If you are calling to make changes to your account, you need a flippin' account number. How else am I supposed to change your ACCOUNT? I can also look it up using your credit card number, but half the time, you don't have it "on you". So you sit there and expect me to hand you a freakin' solution. Then you yell at me when I don't have one. I apologize for not having all your information on a post-it note on my screen. Bastard. Go choke on a lemon.

4. The Mother.
If your children are screaming in the background, it is a REALLY REALLY bad time to decide to call us and purchase tickets. I am asking you for a credit card number, and your mailing information so you can receive your tickets. That's kinda crucial. Shut those brats up, and then call me. You can't decide to use the "ignore" technique while on the phone. That is just illogical on so many levels.

5. The Driver.
For the love of all that is holy, if you absolutely HAVE to call me while driving, please close your goddamn windows. I can hear the wind blowing into your phone, and I can't actually hear *you*. Also, it's kinda scary that you're giving me your credit card number while driving. Watch the road. Your Keith Urban tickets can wait til you at least park somewhere, or wait until AFTER you buy your tickets to actually drive somewhere.

6. The One Who Lacks Common Sense.
The AC/DC tickets went on sale over 2 weeks ago. He called me and asked me for floor seats.
Enough said.
It took me all my strength to not laugh hysterically and tell him to jump out the nearest window.

7. The Teenager.
You're 14 years old. Stop treating me like your little bitch. You can take your Papa Roach tickets and shove them where the sun don't shine. OH WAIT! You can't. You don't have a credit card to purchase said tickets. So go tie a dumbell to your ankle and jump over a bridge, will you?

8. The Elderly.
If you are hearing-impaired, do not call in for tickets. I cannot keep yelling over the phone when I am in a call center with 40 other employees. Get someone else to do it for you, or go to a Retail Outlet.
(I love old people. I really do. Just not over the phone.)

9. The Complainer.
You keep saying how we're a bunch of thieves, who steal all your money with "secret charges" (even though we tell you all the charges before your credit card is checked, but hey! who's asking?), and how we just LOVE to screw people over.
Then stop buying tickets from us? It's quite a simple solution, really. Don't expect me to beg for your forgiveness and offer you free tickets or something of the sorts. Go drink rat poison. It's good for you, I promise.

There's more. I could go on forever... I probably will, in another post.
So what I'm trying to say is.... We're people too. So stfu, purchase your tickets, thank us if you feel so obligated, and hang up. That's all we ask of you.